Last night I had a dream that my body was contorted beneath some rubble and mortar. I could only move my arm above the elbow. At first I didn’t mind much; I guess I expected I would just get out eventually. But then time passed and I noticed that no one was showing up to help me. I started to feel the weight of my posture, and the maddening inability to move my limbs started to feel claustrophobic, like being stuck in a pipe just big enough for your body. But then folks started showing up. Just a fat man with an employee at first (I was at a bookstore, or something.) He looked startled when I asked for help, but the woman in front of him kept walking,so he gave me an apologetic shrug and continued past me and my pile of stones.
Next people I knew started to walk by. I would yell ‘help me’ towards them, and they would laugh and mimic my cry, like it was some kind of joke I was making. They didn’t seem to understand that my need for release was real; they assumed it was another one of my comical gestures.
This went on for a long time. I started to panic. I couldn’t move. Everyone either ignored me or laughed. Finally someone I knew started to recognize my plight, and walked towards me. Before he could help me, though, I pushed. The mortar’s hold broke and the rock on my shoulder tumbled away; the ground cracked and crumbled and I was free and covered in gray dust. I felt sweet release, my chest could move again.
He didn’t help me out from beneath the stones. I did it. I pushed the damn rocks off.