Excerpt from journal, March 22,2011
“Because, by moving, we forget the static. We are given some freedom to explore the thought that life is always this new and exciting. That traveling to a new place somehow inherently increases your enjoyment of the human experience. But that’s not really true, is it? Because the new place eventually becomes old and you feel bored or, if you’re alone, sad. And then you’re back to square one. So it’s not really the places that are making you happy, but the perception of change. Of meaning. It allows you the momentary comfort of thinking about the problem is not you, but is rather the location you presently occupy.
It’s chasing a high, really. If you keep roaming the world, expecting to find a better version of you, then you’ll probably never find what you’re looking for. We have to be better people to feel better. Sounds stupid, I know, but it’s probably true. And we need friends, and people we care about. Otherwise you’re just a lonely soul drifting in the ether.
Chances are everything really is meaningless and we were just meant to reproduce and die and be done with it. But somehow we looked down and saw ourselves and something went wrong and we said “I am”. And then there was good and evil and it’s all been a real shit show since.
But even if things really are that way, we may as well take them for what they’re worth and appreciate all the beauty we see, even if it’s arbitrary.”
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