A dream come true.
A two AM walk through a city steadily screaming at me.
"So the heresy, as it goes, is this: you are selfish. You are the problem. You are the oppressor, you are the drone. Everything you have learned to fear since you were young,that you might one day become yet another bland cog in the capitalist machine—the thing you bought all those record players and typewriters to turn away from—has come true. In your beanies and boots and thick rimmed glasses, with your New Yorkers and acquired concert tickets, you are the gray masses of business suites that haunted the dreams of your teenage years. You have sold out. You have begun the unmistakable descent into living death.”
You can accept or reject the way you are treated by other people, but until you heal the wounds of your past, you will continue to bleed. You can bandage the bleeding with food, with alcohol, with drugs, with work, with cigarettes, with sex, but eventually, it will all ooze through and stain your life. You must find the strength to open the wounds, stick your hands inside, pull out the core of the pain that is holding you in your past, the memories, and make peace with them.
I stopped going to therapy
because I knew my therapist was right
and I wanted to keep being wrong.
I wanted to keep my bad habits
like charms on a bracelet.
I did not want to be brave.
I think I like my brain best
in a bar fight with my heart.
I think I like myself a little broken.
I’m ok if that makes me less loved.
I like poetry better than therapy anyway.
The poems never judge me
for healing wrong.
My dad still calls the gym shorts I stumble around the house in all day ‘jammies’.
It would be pure illusion to believe that laws are made to be respected, or that the police and courts are intended to make them respected. Only in disembodied theory could we pretend that we have once and for all subscribed to the laws of the society to which we belong. It is common knowledge that laws are made by certain people for other people to keep.
But we can go further. Lawbreaking is not an accident, a more or less unavoidable imperfection. Rather, it is a positive element of the functioning of society. Its role is part of a general strategy. Every legislative arrangement sets up privileged and profitable areas where the law can be violated, others where it can be ignored, and others where infractions are sanctioned.